


Found Family

by theyre_called_my_sandals



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Dean Winchester, But They Help Eachother, Disassociation, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Jack Kline, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Beta, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Punching, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, They all have issues, Tw:Abuse, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Winchester Coping Mechanisms (Supernatural), Yelling, flinching, tw:self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28839495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyre_called_my_sandals/pseuds/theyre_called_my_sandals
Summary: Dean yells and drinks and lashes out.Sam flinches at loud noises and sudden movements.Castiel disassociates.Jack hurts himself.But at least they’re not alone.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 69





	1. Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh hi guys.  
> so pretty much i just got this idea and went with it, i wrote this really quickly so i know it’s not the best but just go with it. i tried. i hope you like it!

Dean.

It’s hard not to know when something is wrong with Dean. 

They’ll find dozens of beer bottles littering the floor of his precious room. They’ll find dents in the walls. And when things are really bad they’ll find bruises on themselves.

He never really apologizes, but they know he doesn’t mean it. They know he’s doing his best. And in his own way, he makes up for it. He’ll make them their favorite breakfasts, or take over a project for them so they can rest. He flashes them his apology eyes, and he doesn’t have to say it out loud for them to understand. 

Sometimes things just get to be too much. No one blames him- some people who’ve gone through half as much as him aren’t a quarter as sane.

And at least he’s trying.

Sometimes he goes to Castiel for comfort and occasionally to talk. Castiel will sit with him and tell him beautiful stories of how the universe came into being. Or he’ll just let Dean lie in his lap and sit in silence. And sometimes, late late at night, Dean will quietly tell him what’s wrong. Who’s death he has a nightmare about, what part of hell he had a flashback to, what mistake his brain won’t let him forget that night. And sometimes Cas will respond and other times he just listens. And in the morning, they pretend it didn’t happen.

Cass makes it better.

Sometimes he goes to Jack to act like the child he never was. They’ll watch cartoons, or bake, or play stupid games. They’ll break the rules that Dean couldn’t without the excuse of a kid. Because if he does it with a kid then he’s a good father, if he did them alone he would be immature. They have a paintball fight in the bunker, they play stupid pranks on Sam and Cass, and they let go of their worries, if only for a time.

Jack makes it better.

He usually goes to Sam though. Sam understands him in a way the other two never will, because his brother was there. His brother went to hell. His brother grew up with their father. His brother made the same mistakes as him. His brother has been there for him his whole life, he understands Dean in a way no one else ever could. They don’t need to talk about it. If Dean tells Sam he wants to go out for breakfast, Sam can read the look in his eyes. Sam will demand they go to Dean’s favorite place, and Dean will complain that it’s too far away, but Sam will insist. Dean wouldn’t drive that far for himself, but he would do anything for Sammy. Above all else, Sam provides normalcy for Dean. When everything is crazy, at least Sam’s there the same way he always is.

Sam makes it better.

They all do. Whatever “it” is, they help. They’re his distraction, they’re his lifeline, They’re his family.

And that’s not to say things never go wrong. Dean still drinks too much. He still punches walls and he still punches Sam and occasionally Cas and Jack. But he’s getting better.

They all are. 

There’s more good days than bad, which is impressive considering the state of the world at any given time. There’s more times he watches a movie with Jack than goes out to a bar. There’s more times he cuddles with Cass than loses fights with a wall. There’s more times he reminisces with Sam than screams till his throat is raw. 

He’s not okay, but he’s getting closer every day. His family is making sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ll kiss you on the mouth if you leave a comment


	2. Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter. consider me shook that you made it this far.

Sam.

Sam has been through a lot, more than anyone else they know.

So it’s understandable that he isn’t exactly what anyone would define as “okay.”

Dean feels like he should’ve been the first to notice- it’s his brother; they spend every second together. But that was the problem.

Jack pointed it out to Dean and Cass one night after Sam had gone to bed. The only three people he really knew were Sam, Dean, and Cass, so when one did something the other two didn’t, it was easy for him to tell. 

“Why does Sam flinch so often?”

Dean and Cass froze for a minute. They told Jack that Sam has been fighting for a long time, which makes him jumpy when something unexpected happens.

The next day they pay attention, and realize Jack was right. Sam flinches often- more than often. It’s constant. 

When anyone waves to him, hands something to him, walks into the room, talks to him, goes behind him, or moves too fast, he flinches

Every time someone places something down (or god forbid drops something) too hard, he flinches. Every time a door opens or closes, he flinches. They begin to wonder what else they’ve gotten so used to it doesn’t stick out as a problem.

It’s never directly addressed, but they try to help.

It’s hard.

Dean has been hitting him since they were kids, either in petty fights or real ones. Not to mention what demon Dean did, or what regular Dean did under the influence of the Mark of Cain. Dean was his safe space, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t any danger. Even when they weren’t fighting, Dean had hurt him too many times for the trust to be fully there. 

Cass’s grace is hard to be around sometimes. Sam can feel the power radiating off of him. It reminds him of Lucifer which reminds him of The Cage. He also never let’s go of the subtle knowledge that Cass could smite him before he could even get out a weapon. He knows he never would, he _knows_ it goddamn it. But the threat is still there.

Jack is of course a nightmare on Sam’s subconscious. The son of the man who tortured him for centuries? The fact that Sam can feel how similar his grace is to his fathers? Sam could barely look at the kid on his bad days. He knows Jack is good, he knows Jack would die before hurting him. But knowing is one thing, accepting it is another.

They’re trying though.

Dean makes a point to touch him in nonviolent ways whenever he can. He’ll clap him on the back as a good job after a hunt, or put a hand on his back when he’s reading over Sam’s shoulder. 

Cass tries to be as non-threatening as possible. He puts everything down softly and makes a lot of noise before entering a room so Sam isn’t surprised. He doesn’t wave or move to fast or do anything that might give Sam’s subconscious the idea that he’s about to get hurt.

Jack shows a lot of weakness around Sam, shows that he isn’t all powerful. He lets Sam see his injuries, and makes sure it’s him, not Cass or Dean, that Jack goes to with questions anyone his “age” should know. He watches cartoons that even he finds slightly too childish, and does anything to downplay how powerful he actually is. 

And it doesn’t change much. Sam still flinches. He still jumps at sudden movements and loud noises, still leans away from touch.

But one day he high-fives Dean without ducking. And one day he listens to a Cass talking a little too loudly without wincing. And one day he barely reacts when Jack stands up too fast.

It’s not much.

But it’s progress, and these small moments mean the world to his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> commenters are the pillars upon which our society rests


	3. Cass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t know what i’m saying anymore. i’m sorry. i promise the version of this story that lives in my head is much better.

Cass

When things get hard, Cass leaves. Not literally, he lost his ability to teleport long ago. But rather, his brain leaves the real world behind and he is lost in his head. 

Sometimes it lasts for minutes, sometimes hours, and sometimes days.

Case is physically there, but mentally gone.

They’ve been helping him for a long time. It’s hard not to notice a grown man in a trenchcoat staring blankly at the wall, not moving or even really blinking. 

He does it less now.

But sometimes, when Dean yells, he goes into his head. He’s not good with conflict, he never has been. He can’t deal with the guilt and the pressure of whatever he did wrong this time, so he leaves (or at least his brain does). He feels bad, he knows it upsets Dean, but he can’t control it.

Sometimes after he messes up he can’t deal with the guilt. Once, he makes Sam flinch and spill hot coffee on himself. His brain screams at him for for all of a minute before it all goes blank. He comes back to himself hours later. Sam feels terrible, which Cass thinks is strange since he isn’t the one with coffee burns. Neither of them could handle a fight so they decide it wasn’t anyone’s fault, though neither of them believe it.

Sometimes Jack is in pain and it reminds Cass that it’s his job to take care of him. Cass was supposed to be the boys father. When Jack is unhappy or hurt (which is often), it’s always Cass’s fault. The kid is his responsibility; he promised his mother that Jack would be taken care of. When Cass thinks he has failed as a father, his brian leaves. He can’t take it. 

When things go wrong, when too many problems pile up, when he messes anything up (no matter how big or small), when he’s in pain, or whenever he just can’t take it anymore, his brain leaves.

Yes, his brain leaves, but his family doesn’t.

Dean repositions him so that he’s comfortable. He tells stories and presses himself against Cass so they they're cuddling, because Cass said he likes that. Before they started dating he used to practice telling Cass his feelings since he knew the other man could only hear his voice, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. Dean stays with him as much as he can during these episodes. 

Sam tries to help the medical aspect of things. When Cass was human he used to hook him up to an IV and give him a feeding tube when the episodes lasted for more than a day. Now though, he gives Cass objects which are supposed to ground him. Fidget toys, a diary (“Shut up Dean, we’ve all seen yours”), some essential oils, and anything he thinks will either prevent Cass from leaving or or anything that might help bring him back faster.

Jack vows never to be the reason Cass leaves. It’s, of course, a promise he isn’t very good at keeping. But he takes over many of the jobs Castiel holds himself responsible for, tying to lessen the burden. He tries to seem happy so that Cass won’t feel like a failure. He stays up late solving problems so that they can’t pile up too much. He tries to keep Cass as happy and calm as is possible with their lifestyle.

And it helps.

Sure, he’s still not there all the time, but his episodes get shorter and less frequent. He hasn’t gone through a time where they come every day in years, nor have they haven’t lasted more than two days in just as long.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be completely fine, but he’s getting closer every day. 

And no matter how much his brain leaves, he trusts that his family won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don’t comment then you’re a trump supporter


	4. Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last one. you can all sleep easily knowing it’s finally over.

Jack

Jack remembers when his family first found out. 

He had been changing with the door open, something he cursed himself for later on. Sam had walked by and seen _them._

The bruises.

Jack had developed a habit of punching himself. From the neck down he was covered in bruises of various shapes and colors.

When he messed up, he punched himself. When he hurt someone, he punched himself. When he couldn’t take the pressure of solving the next world-ending crisis, he punched himself. When he was anxious, or guilty, or overwhelmed, or afraid, or stressed, or sad, or impatient, or when he hated himself so much he couldn’t look in the mirror: he punched himself.

When Dean yelled at him, he knew he messed up. And he knew he needed punishment. When Dean hit him, he made sure to hit himself more afterwards, because he knew he deserved it. When Dean yelled at or hurt Sam or Cass, Jack would punch himself even harder for not redirecting Dean’s anger towards himself. Sam and Cass didn’t deserve to take on Dean’s wrath, he did and he needs to be punished for not doing it.

When he accidentally made Sam flinch, he would hurt himself. He messed up again, he had to teach himself a lesson.

When he failed to stop Cass from leaving, he would take out his guilt and frustration on himself. It was supposed to be his job to stop it, and he couldn’t even do that.

He hurt himself a lot. Often he would go through every negative adjective he knew and give himself one hit for each of them. 

It was no more than he deserved.

His dads disagreed.

Sam had walked into the room, softly asking for an explanation. His mind had at first gone to Dean and he was on the edge of throttling his older brother.

But Jack had explained. It didn’t make him feel any better. 

The two of them had a long talk about self-harm and the dangers of it, as well as the reasons behind it. Jack did it for many reasons. Guilt, frustration, anger, anxiety, impatience, self-hatred, being overwhelmed, and many others. They talked about alternatives and how to ask for help. 

Sam told Dean and Cass what he had seen and talked about. 

Together, there three of them felt sick. The worst part was they they could even say they hadn’t noticed- they just hadn’t done anything about it. 

Jack had hit himself in front of them. But it always seemed soft and repetitive, they all chalked it up to him fidgeting. 

If only.

That night is a terrible one for everyone. Cass zones out for hours. Dean drinks. Sam flinches every time Dean brings the bottle to his lips, and every time he brings it back down. Jack hides in his room, ignoring the alternatives Sam had told him about. 

The next day is the start of progress though. 

The next day when Jack is harshly tapping on his leg as he waits for his food to heat up, Dean gently places his hand over Jack’s, forcing the kid to stop. Once he does, Dean takes his hand off without a word. He counts the fact that Jack doesn’t start again as a win. Dean also makes a point to compliment the kid as much as he can. He tells Jack that he’s proud of him, and tells him when he’s done a good job. He compliments his intelligence and hard work. He makes sure the kid isn’t overworking himself, and that he knows he deserves breaks. 

Sam starts inviting Jack to workout with him. He hopes Jack will like the way his muscles burn more than the way bruises sting. Jack likes feeling something in a way he knows his family will approve of. It’s not long before he’s on his way to becoming a threat with or without his powers. Sam has never been more proud of his son.

Cass goes out and gets a couple fidget toys, as well as a fresh notebook. He explains to Jack that writing out his feelings is better than punching them out. Later he smiles when he sees Jack playing with slime as he watches a movie, instead of banging on his shoulder the way he normally would.

It helps a lot. Jack is young and impressionable. Having everyone in his life encourage him not to do something is a great motivation to try to stop.

That’s not to say he’s perfect, or that he never ends up with marks on this skin.

He still punches himself. He still channels his guilt and anxiety into pain, and he still believes he deserves it.

But now he has skin with patches of bruises instead of the other way around.

And his is there to family make sure that, eventually, none of the marks on his body will ever be self-inflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhh all done!!!!  
> thank you for reading, lmk if you would be at all interested in an actual fic about them living with each other’s habits instead of just a description. 
> 
> religious folks- not commenting is a sin you will burn in hell for/be punished for in other ways if your religion doesn’t have a concept of hell
> 
> atheists- if you don’t comment you lose your status as a cool cat


End file.
